Welcome to the H/C mine of District 9 3/4

H/C - Miscellaneous (Comic Edition)

zeit-heist:

Various bits of head-canon/crack from an assorted group of fandoms (when did I start being so comic-centric?) ahead. Disclaimer to Marvel and DC fans: I’m only familiar with the universes as far as what I’ve read in fic, seen in Young Justice and Under the Red Hood, picked up from fan-art and conversations, and seen in the Marvel movies, so please don’t hurt me. And without further ado:

• Clint and Dick are bffs and spend their time reminiscing about life in the circus and talking about acrobatics, one-liners, and crime-fighting. (Sub-entry: Clint takes a “vacation” to help Nightwing deal with Gotham. Cue confusion from the residents of Gotham and Natasha mocking Clint for a couple weeks, especially if he starts picking up Dick’s habit of making cheesy one-liners and puns.)
• The Joker, in his youth, was a literary critic, and that background informs his love of parallelism, irony, and other commonly used literary devices in his crimes/actions. (Thank you, Under the Red Hood.)
• Dick’s hobby in his first few years as Robin was figuring out ways to apply Bruce’s tech that are both amusing and effective, such as using well-placed, small explosives to send criminals flying off into the sky (see: the one scene in Under the Red Hood in which Bruce uses a small explosive to do this very thing). and would shout “and they’re blasting off again~” every single time, to Bruce’s annoyance
• Everyone thinks that Nick Fury, Tony Stark, Thor, and Bruce Banner are the ones you should never cross. In actuality, you should be worried about angering Natasha, Maria, and Pepper, because they’re the ones who can covertly and efficiently destroy your life while wearing a smile on their face. (Sub-entry: Natasha, Maria, and Pepper are perfectly capable of taking over the world and running it smoothly, and they spend their time together mocking and poking holes in various villains’ attempts.)
• Part of Loki’s disdain for the Earth is actually disdain for our barbaric, unimaginative pranks. The look on his face when he discovered our whoopee cushion, for example, was one for the history books.
• Sub-entry: Loki meets Fred and George Weasley. 
• There is a Daddy Issues Anonymous, attended by all the Robins, Tony Stark, and Loki, although it’s not so anonymous (and tends to get rather violent), since the Robins all know who they’re talking about and Tony and Loki aren’t exactly on good terms. And tends to be crashed by Thor.